Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
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I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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