I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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