Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
