Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
