i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
