singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize