Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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