Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
