I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
