think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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