Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I've blown a few things in my day
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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