i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
