Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
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There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
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The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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