i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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