I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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