I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
