I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
