it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
