so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
