physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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