I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Come on in and take your pants off
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