I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Michael Bay diarrhea
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
