The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
