I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
