I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think I just sharted jello shots
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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