sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
