Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
