What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
