Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
