do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
