like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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