i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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