dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
