the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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