I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if only i could text you this smell
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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