I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
