I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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