I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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