I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
