ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
