She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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