areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
