I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
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