people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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