This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Im part way to drunk.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
