I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
