Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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