? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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