Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
