Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
