I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize