He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
