it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
