I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
