Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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